sometimes at work, i feel hopelessly out of it...
here i am, part of a section with only three people, trying to do
something which is hopelessly pointless... trying to keep pace with
the other agencies which have hundreds of people each doing what we
three people are doing...
each sector of those from other agencies do the necessary stuff
(which is pretty huge) like once a year while we appear in every
one of those in a miniature capacity which can easily be
overlooked...
i've had this view of "what's the point of all this??" 2 months
after i joined this section...
so i've been coasting, numbing myself to the sheer futility of the
work in my section for 1 year already 
i was speaking to someone in another agency yesterday, and just his
little precinct, has programmes which my organisation had never
even dared imagine possible...
my boss wants me to somehow parasite ourselves onto their
programmes.. i am torn.. feeling that what we do will only make
their programmes lose something, but we ourselves will not gain
anything but will only serve to mess things up for that agency and
ourselves..
and a lot of futile sweat and tears will be wasted for
nothing...
